Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: Foreign.
Welcome back to Born Again Maddies. On today's episode, we are going to be talking about the hard hitting topic of identity and identity in today's culture and how that is relevant to being a Christian and following Christ.
One little tidbit I want to leave everyone with today is you'll either have friction with the world and harmony with God, or you'll have harmony with the world and friction with God, but you can't have both.
Hope you enjoy the episode.
[00:00:31] Speaker B: Heavenly Father, thank you for being here with us today. We thank you for this opportunity, for this friendship, for blessing us with this space, even though we feel woefully unprepared and unqualified. Lord, you call us, and that's the theme of today. So we pray that you bless everybody that's listening. Lord, we pray for courage. We pray for boldness. We pray for an increase of faith and. And we also want to pray for our friend Amber, Lord, her son James. We pray for an anointing over her parenting. We pray for strength and grace on her heart, on her husband's heart. And as James enters the school system, Lord, we pray that he has a hedge of protection around him, that you bless his teachers, counselors, that you soften hearts of other children, Lord, and you let him grow and bloom in this season. And we believe this, and we ask for it in your name, Jesus. Amen. Amen.
Hi.
[00:01:29] Speaker A: Hi. Episode number four.
[00:01:32] Speaker B: All right.
We're super excited to be here today. We don't know where this is going. We have a vague.
[00:01:39] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:01:39] Speaker B: Conversation.
[00:01:41] Speaker A: We have a prompt, and then we didn't talk about it at all. And now we're here.
[00:01:45] Speaker B: Yeah. So it's a big one. Especially in this culture. We want to talk about identity, identity in Christ, what that looks like, what that means today, what. What that means for us, and just see how that unfolds.
[00:01:59] Speaker A: Yep. Identity, probably the biggest thing of life, I would say.
[00:02:02] Speaker B: Yeah. I mean, it's kind of the conquest of life. Right. We're trying to figure out who we are, what we're meant to do, our purpose.
And we have all those answers in the Bible. And we both know that from personal experience. Like, we've looked in all the wrong areas. We've lived that life. We know what it's like to finally appreciate the blueprint for what it is and to see that truth spoken in our life and heal past traumas, generational curses. And so my.
My hope and my prayer for today is that everybody who listens to this knows that they are loved, that they have Purpose that they're seen, that they belong.
No matter what they're facing, what their past involves or says about them, no matter how they've been treated in the church, at home, by friends, they have a place. They are loved.
[00:02:51] Speaker A: Yep. Absolutely. And that their identity is in Christ and Christ alone.
[00:02:55] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:02:55] Speaker A: No matter where they are in their walk right now.
[00:02:58] Speaker B: Amen.
So vaguely identity in Christ, what that means? It's discovering your worth, your purpose, and your value rather than relying on things of the world, worldly achievements. Recognizing that you're loved, forgiven, and chosen by God and that Christ lives in us.
[00:03:20] Speaker A: Yep.
Some key points that I put down are like things that you could ask yourself, who am I really?
Discovering your truth within Christ.
A key scripture that stuck out to me was, therefore, if anyone in Christ, he is new. He is a new creation. The oldest passed away. Behold, the new has come. 2 Corinthians 5, 17.
And that stuck out to me because I feel like, especially in today's culture, they. People are so hungry to find a label and to give a label, no matter, like, Christian or not, I guess you could say. And it happens within the church, too. I feel like in. In negative ways, too. Right. Like putting church members on pedestals and kind of like looking at yourself as a.
I don't want to say it as like an equal with God. I think that can happen a lot within Christianity. And then we're talking outside of Christianity, putting our identity in the clothes we wear, the amount of followers we have on Instagram, looks.
[00:04:39] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:04:40] Speaker A: Social status, what type of car you drive, what type of house you live in, the neighborhood you live in. Right. And all those things are not actually at the root of our true identity, which is in Christ, no matter who you are. I'm saying that as a blanket statement for every human living. That is our true identity, whether you want to believe it or not, in my opinion. So that scripture stuck out to me when I was going through and kind of seeing what was going to be fitting for what we're going to talk about.
[00:05:09] Speaker B: Yeah. And of course, that jumped out to both of us because there's so much to unpack with that one scripture. Right. The old has gone away. Behold, you are a new thing through Jesus. He's the only one that can do that for us. But that, behold, you are a new thing. The past is gone, the old is gone, and you are new.
Those titles that you talk about, they follow us. Right.
[00:05:31] Speaker A: We.
[00:05:33] Speaker B: We make a mistake or we have a past identity as a partier or somebody who sleeps around or Whatever it is. And we try to carry that with us. And that is a tool of the enemy. Because the root of that is shame. Right? We're ashamed of person that we used to be. And we feel unworthy. And all of those things associated to those old ties, that old life, the old you.
It's not true. It's all lies. You are, you're worthy, you're loved, you're whole, you're complete.
I love what you said about like the Live youe Truth culture, right? Because we fight to get to the top of the ladder. We're trying to hit every mile mark, achievement. We want a new label, we want a new position. And we get so busy trying to climb to the top of the ladder that we look down and Jesus is still at the bottom washing feet.
[00:06:26] Speaker A: O yeah, that was deep.
Chills on my arms.
[00:06:31] Speaker B: That was deep.
[00:06:32] Speaker A: Though it's true.
[00:06:33] Speaker B: Though true. It's so true.
[00:06:34] Speaker A: And maybe like, that's kind of what I meant by, you know, you're climbing that letter so high.
And like you said, Jesus is still at the bottom doing the brunt work. Like, it's just, it's. You have to stay humble in your.
[00:06:48] Speaker B: Positions to have that servant heart. Yeah, we're meant to serve. It doesn't matter if you are the CEO or the janitor, to have that heart of Jesus. And that's something that we can only have through Him. Right. You can be humble and kind, but good deeds alone are not sufficient. You have to have that light in you. And that only comes through the forgiveness and salvation of knowing Jesus and submitting all of those old ties and titles to him and knowing that through him, with him, you can be so much more than anything you could ever achieve on an earthly plane. Right? Like nothing you could achieve in this world. No status, no clothes, no car is ever going to compare to what that transformation in you does.
[00:07:35] Speaker A: Yeah.
Like he says, through grace and grace alone.
And that's all it is. And one thing that I want to talk about and touch base on is the Lord is living water.
Did you write that down too?
[00:07:50] Speaker B: No, I didn't.
[00:07:51] Speaker A: Okay, let's dive in.
So it's from Jeremiah 2:13, but pretty much without, like, reading the Bible to you.
It's about broken cisterns and how they're polluted and cracked and people are digging their own cisterns. And Jesus goes, you know, you can dig and try to collect water as much as you want, but I am the living water. Right? He says that. And when I was doing Bible study, I wrote this down. As sinners, we are broken humans and often reject this. And we dig our own cisterns of tainted water that is nasty and you want to have and you have to work so hard to obtain it. These are cisterns that are broken and hold no water.
We often dig for our own identity in life. Was the big picture that stuck out to me for that and just like for biblical reference, because some people might have not read this part yet. The living waters were natural springs that were just like crystal clear in like delicious water. And like you wouldn't get sick from them, you know. So that's where that idea of Jesus being the living water, there's no cleaner, crisper, better water to drink from. And if you drink from his water, you will never thirst again. He makes that extremely clear.
And that's like back to like the woman in the well where. Which is another thing we'll probably touch base on.
And things that this had me questioning for myself.
Because even though we have a Christian podcast, we are just like everybody else and our weeks and our days and our months are just as hard and broken and funky as everyone else's.
So I just want to always have that be clear that we're walking the same journey that everyone else is walking. We just have Christ with us to help us along.
But some things I want to ask and you can even like respond if you think of something is. And things I was asking myself are, what are today's broken systems? Cisterns that we dig and dig and dig for, but are always polluted.
[00:10:04] Speaker B: Validation immediately. Like social media.
We base our self worth off of it. Right. Like we don't get enough, likes enough views right there. It's what am I doing wrong? How am I not as good as this person? And it's so easy to get sucked into the world and seek that worldly validation. And I love that you said we are just like everyone else. That is the root of our podcast here. We are Christians and we're broken just like everyone else. That's what the church is for.
That's why we're here. Yeah. And so it's easy to get caught up into that. I, I thought of something while you were talking and it comes into speaking life too. Like the power of our tongue, the things that we speak over ourselves. It doesn't matter where we are in our walk with Jesus, we still have the ability to speak life and death over ourselves. And that's, that's our everyday, that's our mental health, that's our energy, that's our marriage, that's our friendships. Every facet of our life is affected by that. And so this season has been crazy for both of us. And it's easy to get caught up in. I'm exhausted, I'm stressed out, I'm depressed, I'm anxious, I'm confused. I'm all of these things that are all of the world. We have to be careful to read scripture and to speak his promises and his truths over our life. I am loved. I am worthy. It's okay to have confusion again. We're human. We all do. But there's answers and there's help for that. And so knowing where to turn and. And guarding our minds and our hearts and our tongues.
[00:11:41] Speaker A: Yeah. And for every human emotion that I will say is of Satan, there is somewhere in the Bible that backs up whatever you're feeling.
So when people. It makes me laugh when people say, oh, there's no handbook for life, but there kind of is a handbook for life. And it's the Bible and it's Jesus. He is the handbook for life.
And I think once you realize that and surrender to that, things get a whole lot easier. It doesn't take away your problems, but it helps you have the tools to be equipped to fight the fight.
[00:12:14] Speaker B: Absolutely, 100%.
[00:12:17] Speaker A: Some things I wrote down, like, I know you brought up the social media stuff, but this is just on a personal level.
Some that know. I'm sure there's some people that know. I just started a new job and after leaving a place that I thought I would retire at for, I was working there for about six years.
And the people I was working for didn't end up being who I thought they were. And it was painful because I kind of got caught up in that idea that maybe if I climbed that ladder, there would be some.
Something, you know, at the top, some kind of reward. Right. And not like in a selfish way, but just in a longevity way of you're somewhere long enough, you work hard enough, and sometimes there's a reward at the end. Right.
[00:13:08] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:13:09] Speaker A: That didn't end up being the case. And not only was it not the case, it was like far the opposite way was. It was almost like, oh, you, you've worked really hard for us and been loyal.
Let's just stomp on all your aspirations and just make them into ash is what it felt like for me.
So something. And this was especially because I did some of this Bible study a couple months ago when this was all going down. I said my identity was in people pleasing specifically in the Workplace and what I thought people wanted out of me.
And then in I wrote specifically in the workplace.
And then I wrote, Christ is the only living water that can sustain me.
He is not a leaking bucket and he will not disappoint me.
[00:13:57] Speaker B: That's so good. You know how speaking that truth, reaffirming yourself when you're at your lowest low like this, this is a truth. It doesn't feel like it right now, but I'm going to stand in this promise.
[00:14:07] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:14:07] Speaker B: There's nothing wrong with wanting.
Wanting benefits from working hard, from that loyalty and dedication and hard work. And the thing is, God wants to prosper us. He wants to see you successful, wants to see you prosperous. But when you find yourself with a closed door, you have to be willing and able to listen to him for an open door. And that takes bravery. That's scary. You're leaving comfort, you're leaving people you know again, a company that you gave the better half of a decade to and that, you know, there is friendship there, there's history, there's loyalty, even if there is hurt and some things going skewy there at the end. And it's really hard to be like, oh my gosh, do I step out and do something scary and start over new? And what if I fail? And that's the enemy trying to bring you down, too. So stepping out in faith and being bold, like, nope, there's no time for leaky buckets here. Like, I'm going to step out and drink that water life and trust that God's got me.
[00:15:05] Speaker A: Yep. And he does. And since I wrote that in, I wrote that in a place of hurt because that was exactly right after it had happened. Since then, I'll just take a little brag moment just to show what God has done in my life. Not in a Tara did this for herself, but trusting God. And literally it felt like I was jumping out of an airplane. Like, I was like, not only did I switch companies, I went in from doing commission hairdressing to leasing.
[00:15:31] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:15:31] Speaker A: So I became my own boss. I became the source for all my color. Anything overhead is now on me.
My card reader transactions, my taxes, everything switched. I have nobody doing anything for me anymore. And that's very scary when you've had the luxury of having a company run the back end of your stuff for you.
And this is really cool. Not only I was so scared. I was looking at my books. They weren't full yet.
You know, I'm going into my first couple of weeks at work and every single time that I've had a gap, and, like, I worry about it. Bam. Somebody books online.
[00:16:07] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:16:08] Speaker A: I have been so consistently busy, and, like, yes, I thank my clients, and I know it's. It's their loyalty that keeps me afloat. But God has provided the situation for me. And he. I always say this. He plugged me and placed me where I needed to go at this time in my life. And I hope it's for a long time. I don't want to say anything's forever, but for this season of my life that I'm in, he literally placed me flawlessly where I needed to be.
And at the time, it felt chaotic. It felt like, oh, my gosh, am I making the right choice? You know, so many sleepless nights about it. A knot in my stomach, you know, like, waking up for work, like, feeling like I'm going to throw up. Like, all the things, you know, that just caused anxiety within you were happening.
And I just had to go, you know what? God has never.
He's never been a leaky bucket for me. He never has. Even when I thought he was being, he never was right.
And it's just such a, like, real time, within the last time that we talked to you guys situation that happened. And it is a big deal. I know some people are like, oh, it's just a job, whatever. That's my income. That's my livelihood. That's how me and Marcus pay our mortgage. That's how we live and, you know, get food. It's a huge deal. And, um. And I went out on a limb, and for one of the first times in my life, I literally went in with the mindset of, well, you know, God's going to provide, and I have confidence in that. And I don't think I've ever done that up until this point in my life. Just completely surrendered and huge. And look what he did. And by the way, my income doubled.
[00:17:38] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:17:39] Speaker A: Within my first week.
[00:17:40] Speaker B: Yeah, I love that. And I love how you're, like, not in the stomach, can't sleep, waking up anxious like that, that consumed you because we're human. And it doesn't matter that, like, we're Christian and we love God and we're trying to trust in Jesus. Faith is hard. And then you had to, like, talk yourself into that, like, okay, like, I am intentionally going to surrender to you. Because it is a surrender. It is an intentional decision and saying, like, God, okay, I'm struggling. I'm scared, but I trust you in this season. And then you get that 2020 hindsight right? He's like, be anxious for nothing. Tara, I don't know how many times I have to tell you this. I'm always taking care of you. I always will. And then we see the fruition of that, and he's so good. But it's those times where we are scared, where we're so vulnerable and caught up in things of the world that we lean on him more.
Right? And that's how we grow our faith. We seek him when we need him. Like, if things were easy all the time, we get complacent, we're comfortable, we're like, I mean, yeah, God's good, but maybe some of this is because I'm pretty good, too. Like, I mean, I did this and this, so I get some of the credit.
Like, it's just. That's human. And we have to be able to admit that, like, faith is ups and downs. It's valleys and mountaintops and takes those valleys to grow and level up. And it's been so fun to watch you level up in faith and in your livelihood, in your career. Like, this was a big jump, a big step of faith.
[00:19:07] Speaker A: It's kind of like a domino effect. It was like everything that I was going through was setting me up for what had happened because I kind of didn't. Yeah, didn't know. And then all of a sudden, I was caught there in the valley going, okay, I either stay complacent or I climb my way up with the help of Jesus. And I chose to put my faith in Jesus.
And, yeah, just please don't underestimate how scary it was. And if you have anything like that, looking at the camera now, if you have anything like that in your life, don't be scared to surrender to Jesus, because he will never let you down. Even when it feels like he's letting you down, when your world's crumbling, he's not going to let you down. So I just really want to write that home. And this is a very mild example, but just something for the first time in my 31 years that I surrendered to him. And he. He said, yeah, Tara, you're finally learning. You're finally not fighting me tooth and nail.
[00:20:03] Speaker B: He's so faithful to provide. I.
I said something once. Your breakthrough is right on the other side of your sacrifice. Sometimes it's sacrificing, whether it's a little bit of pride, a closed door like that that you're scared to let go of, a friendship that you know is holding you back, a bad relationship that you're scared to Branch out and step away from right. On the other side of that sacrifice is a huge breakthrough because God knows us. He knows our hearts. He knows the courage it takes, the faith it takes in him. And he will reward you for that. Times out of 10, he's so good, so faithful to provide.
[00:20:41] Speaker A: He is. Love it. Love you, jc.
I. Did you see my little. I did a little post on Instagram. It was on a trash can, out of all things, but it was like hope in Jesus. And I took a picture. I'm like, love you, jc. Because it's just like those little Easter eggs he leaves.
[00:20:56] Speaker B: That's so great.
[00:20:57] Speaker A: So now that's my new little saying. Sup, jc?
[00:20:59] Speaker B: Love you.
[00:21:00] Speaker A: Love you, boy.
[00:21:01] Speaker B: Boy. They won't know me for real.
[00:21:03] Speaker A: Seriously.
Some more. I just have more notes and I just want to share them.
We live in a world that is constantly being asked, what are you? Are you left? Are you right? Are you he? Are you him? Are you she? Her? They. They, them. Progressive, conservative, moderate, radical.
I feel like that's like the biggest thing that as being a Christian right now, that people are kind of putting on their boxing gloves and fighting about. And I.
I'm kind of curious. I struggle with it. I'm curious how. How do you handle that type of stuff? With grace.
[00:21:36] Speaker B: I love this. I think right now, the enemy in our culture, in today's climate, his favorite tool is division. There is so much division, and people are in arms against it. And it's hate. And the root of that is hate, because it's not apathy, right? It's passionate people. Like you said, they're putting on their boxing gloves. They are ready to be cruel and horrible because you see things differently than them, because you live a different lifestyle than them. And I want to say to all those people that Jesus taught us that love is at the root of everything, that you are a child of God. That is your identity. When he spoke, he said, neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor freed. He was talking to everybody.
So I don't care if you cheated on your husband yesterday, if you're struggling with meth right now, if you are gay, if you are transgender, if you are lesbian, if you are liberal, if you are Republin, Republin.
There is a seat in the church for you. There is a spot right next to me. Jesus loves you.
That is all, man. That is the way that people are turned off by the church is because they see that judgment and that hatred. And that is not what Jesus taught us. He taught us love. That love Conquers all love above all to love your neighbor. He doesn't say, love your neighbor if they are a straight white couple, like, no, he says, love your neighbor. I don't know about you, but I've lived in some sus places. I've had some sus neighbors, and they've been hard to love, but that's what Jesus calls us to do. Love your neighbor.
Stop putting a label. Stop hiding behind religion to hate someone, to bully them, to be cruel to them, stop teaching your children to be cruel, to bully, to belittle people, to cause division. Because that is not of Jesus.
Never. He is equality. He is love. He is peace. He is unity. He is the Holy Trinity, one with God through him, regardless of your age, of your gender, of your identity.
Because as soon as you put your heart and your trust in God, he will show you who you are to him which is loved. You are loved no matter what, no matter what you're going through, no matter how confused or scared or alone you are, Jesus loves you, period.
And I just want to shake people all over the world that are so filled with hate right now.
I have friends that are gay. I have taking care of so many patients that are the most beautiful humans on earth that identify as something else. I've taken care of adolescents who want to be a cat.
Okay. I don't have to agree with that, but I can love them.
[00:24:37] Speaker A: Yep. Love them regardless.
[00:24:39] Speaker B: I don't have to believe that they're a cat.
[00:24:41] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:24:41] Speaker B: That's the important part right there. Nobody's making who their identity is.
[00:24:46] Speaker A: Yep.
[00:24:47] Speaker B: I don't have to shove that in their face. I don't have to hate them. I don't have to pick on them. I can know that their identity is a child, child of God in a chosen and called generation. And I can love them.
[00:24:58] Speaker A: Exactly.
Period. That's why I asked you. I knew you were gonna word it way better than I could have. No, but, yeah. And I feel like that is the biggest thing right now. And we all need to be sharp and be aware of it. Whatever side the world has put you on, that we have this common denominator and is that we are chosen and we have the same father. Yeah. Yep. We have the same Father. And nothing, literally nothing that we do earthside separates us from that.
[00:25:27] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:25:28] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:25:28] Speaker B: Amen.
[00:25:29] Speaker A: Nothing.
[00:25:30] Speaker B: Right. And the nothing there, like, again, like, this is just bubbling up such a fiery passion in me because it's nothing. Sin is sin. We have all fallen short of the glory of God. That's why we need him why? We need his redemption and his forgiveness and for him to prune away the bad fruit from us because we have all fallen short. He doesn't say, if you've lied and you stole a couple, like petty theft, not like grand theft, but like petty theft. You guys are over here.
[00:25:58] Speaker A: That lip gloss from Target in seventh grade.
[00:26:01] Speaker B: You're the chosen generation. Okay, but if it was like a TV or you slept with a man and you're a man.
Nope, you're out.
[00:26:09] Speaker A: Like, that's just too far.
[00:26:10] Speaker B: That's where we draw the line with sin. That is not how it works. We have all sinned. We are all in the same big old pot. One sin is not greater than or less than the other. We have all missed the glory of God and he loves us all the same. We all have the identity as a child of God, regardless of that sin.
[00:26:30] Speaker A: Yep.
[00:26:30] Speaker B: It just takes a step. It takes a sacrifice. It takes a really scary surrender.
Right. And going like, God, I don't know if you're real. I don't know. I don't know. But my heart is hurting right now, and I'm lost and I'm scared. And why not? I'm going to give this a shot. Please be the Lord of my life. Please forgive me. Please. Show me what I could be, what life could be. Show me what heaven could be someday. And he will show up.
[00:26:56] Speaker A: Yeah. And those words that you uttered, let's say that you're somebody that the world has put a lot of labels on. Maybe you've put a lot of labels on yourself out of any of those ones that I listed.
And you're going, you know what? I kind of want to see what this is all about. You know, you say those words and the thing is, God will transform you into the identity that you are truly.
Like you said, it's not. Those labels are going to fall off.
You're going, it's going to be like a chameleon. It's not going to be overnight. Because faith is a journey and spirituality is a journey. It's a lifelong. Right. And there's really. I always say there's not really a finish line. Right?
[00:27:34] Speaker B: Right.
[00:27:36] Speaker A: Let's say you start it when you're 15. You should still be doing it when you're 100. Right. It's a journey. And those things, they'll start. It's like going to be a snake shedding its skin. And those are just going to start falling off of you. And you will figure out what your identity is in Christ and stuff is. Stop Bothering you. And you're going to stop trying to subscribe to little pockets of, oh, I'm this person, or this, or I'm part of this exact community or whatever. Because your community is now God.
[00:28:03] Speaker B: Yeah. Amen.
[00:28:04] Speaker A: You and God and just human race. Right. Because we're all connected by that one thing, that one trinity.
[00:28:13] Speaker B: So, so good. I referenced this scripture, but I want to read. It's John 15, 5. I am the vine, you are the branches. And this is red text. This is J Man speaking.
So Jesus says, I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in me and I in him bears much fruit. For without me, you can do nothing.
Because that's what we've done, right? We've both been there, we've done nothing. We've done a whole lot of things that have tainted our spirits and souls with sin. Spinning our wheels, doing nothing.
But when you accept Jesus and he prunes away that bad fruit, you bear the good fruit through him alone, like you just said, like a snake shedding its skin. And you keep growing good fruit because he cuts away and they takes growing pains. Right? Like that Snip is not comfortable.
[00:29:07] Speaker A: No.
[00:29:08] Speaker B: But he will cut away those things that are tainting that, that are pulling you away from your true identity, from who you're meant to be.
And you will just grow and blossom in ways that you never thought possible.
[00:29:21] Speaker A: Absolutely.
[00:29:22] Speaker B: Because we both know, right, we've both been in the throes of anxiety or depression before, and you don't see any way out.
You.
It's just endless.
[00:29:32] Speaker A: I mean, so painful and so dark. And there seems no light at the end of that tunnel when you're in the transit trenches of it.
[00:29:41] Speaker B: Yeah.
I remember explaining to an adolescent I was working on an inpatient psych unit at this point in my nursing career, and I had a girl that God just placed in my heart and lap, just doing her intake assessment and hearing her story. And she had tried to commit suicide. And she was the exact same age as I was when I tried to commit suicide, which was 15 years old.
And I just remember looking at her in this bottomless pit and remembering how slimy the walls of that pit are, how you just. You get sucked farther and farther down, but you can't climb out. I just looked at her, and to be able to tell her, like, there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
I know it seems endless right now, but I promise you that one day you're gonna look around and you're gonna be so happy that you stuck around to see what life has in store for you.
And notice I said life, right? Because it's God. It's what God has in store for you. And sometimes people aren't ready to hear that and they're not receptive. And that comes back to following the Holy Spirit in you and meeting people where they are. Because he's called us to be a light, right? And we should be evangelizing and we should be sharing the good news, but that doesn't mean shoving it down somebody's throat and telling them that the way that they're living is wrong and everything about them is wrong and they need to change or they're gonna burn up in a fiery hell. Probably gonna scare them and make them run away. That is not what we need to be. That's not what Jesus called us to be. He called us to love our neighbors.
And so we meet people with love and we give them hope. And you plant seeds. And that was me planting a seed in that girl's life. But I have no doubt that God had left the 99 for that one girl and that seed was grown. And that somewhere down the road, she knew that that is God protecting her, that that was God shining light into her life and keeping her from the enemy's attacks on her beautiful purpose for this world. And everybody has that.
[00:31:48] Speaker A: Yeah, you were acting as the vessel. I love that. That's all we are.
[00:31:53] Speaker B: That's all we are. And it feels so good to be used as a vessel like that is. Oh, my gosh, such a cool moment. If you know, you know, like, if you have been used by God. Even if it's like, hey, like, you're supposed to go give that person $5 and you're like, I look like a lunatic. Right?
[00:32:10] Speaker A: Well, I really wanted that Starbucks.
[00:32:13] Speaker B: Yeah, sure.
Really need a mother today.
[00:32:16] Speaker A: Those are $7 now, not 5.
[00:32:17] Speaker B: So true. But truly, like, stepping out in any. Any benefit faith like that and being used, that's when you know that God is real. Like those moments like that, I mean, with countless others, that's not the only time that you know God is real.
Feel him working through you and using you like a vessel. And you find out that person just prayed for a sign or they just prayed that they didn't know how they were going to get their car to the daycare to go pick up their kids.
You'll see it. You will see that and know that that is the manifest power of God working in and through you.
And there's no better feeling. That's. That's the way we're meant to live is in tune with our shepherd, with our Father.
[00:33:02] Speaker A: Yep. And the more you get comfortable with surrendering to that, the more you'll be used.
[00:33:07] Speaker B: Yeah. I believe, like, oh, absolutely.
[00:33:09] Speaker A: I feel like, especially with you, I'm still getting, like, braver with stuff like that, like, public things. And I feel like you've been practicing it for a few years. Yeah. Would you say, like, you'll walk up to a homeless person and lay hands on them and pray and stuff? I'm not quite to that point. I'm still a little bit skittish, but I've even seen, like, how many more people you are able to touch with, like, surrendering and going out on that limb. And it makes me, as a believer, too, go, oh, my gosh. I want that. I. I want to do what Vanessa's doing, and I want God to work through me like, he's working through Vanessa.
[00:33:43] Speaker B: It's so good.
[00:33:45] Speaker A: Yeah. And it's so special to witness.
[00:33:46] Speaker B: Even six years later, Matt is like, okay, she's doing it again. And I'm like, it's not my will. God's will be done. We're gonna go do this weird thing. And every single time, it bolsters both of us so much. Like, it's just. It's incredible. I'll be like, no, God, put this on my heart. And I look weird right now. It feels kind of weird. And you have that moment that you have to overcome the world because, you know people are looking at you or, like, you know, I didn't get ready today. I'm looking like a people at Walmart, and I don't want to go step into that group of people. Like, whatever it is, Satan will plant those insecurities and doubts in you so that you're, like, kind of questioning your worthiness, your identity in God as a chosen child of God, the vessel.
[00:34:32] Speaker A: The two biggest things that I've noticed through watching you do stuff like that is you not only have, like, people watching you, but now you have two little girls that you have watching you. And I've noticed just even being around Chevy, which is Vanessa's oldest.
We were at Vanessa's baby shower, and she stood up. What was she, eight or nine at the time? Stood up and said, everybody, I want everybody to get in a circle and hold hands. We're gonna pray over Mommy. You know what I mean? Like, that's the type of children she's raising by doing those things in front of her kids, too, which I think we can all learn from. And, you know, take. Take that little bit of advice to go out on that limb and do it.
[00:35:12] Speaker B: Children's hearts are so pure. I mean, Jesus tells us we need to be more like children. Right? They don't have those reservations. They're not caught up in the world.
Remember when we went out, we went downtown for my birthday, and we were all dressed at the tins, like stilettos, little dresses, had the hair and makeup, did, like, doing it for the gram.
[00:35:30] Speaker A: Right.
[00:35:30] Speaker B: We were just having a good time. I think that was me. Oh, we don't need to bring it up. I think that was my dirty 30.
[00:35:36] Speaker A: Was that your 30th?
[00:35:37] Speaker B: I think so.
[00:35:39] Speaker A: I think it was your 29th.
[00:35:40] Speaker B: It must have been.
[00:35:41] Speaker A: It was your 29th.
[00:35:42] Speaker B: Yeah. Okay.
[00:35:42] Speaker A: Your nerdy 30 was at your house randomly, and we had, like, pie and then, wow. Oh, charcuterie. That's what it was.
Okay. Anyway, so we're all, like, irrelevant in.
[00:35:51] Speaker B: The tens, and Chevy was there and was like, mom and that homeless guy. We just went like, Like. Like, we have our, like, reservation over here at the Reef, and we're cruising and doing this.
No, you're totally right. Yeah, there's. This is the reason we're here. That man right there. Like, I. I love that. I'm so proud of Chevy. Love her so much. And it is. It's a.
It's a heavy weight. A heavy.
[00:36:17] Speaker A: She's a little sponge, though.
[00:36:19] Speaker B: She is. To be a parent, we have to imitate the love of Christ. And for everybody, again, like, I know you and I, this can be. This has been such an incredible adventure with this podcast, but the responsibility of it, the weight of it, the possibility to steer somebody away from Jesus instead of bringing them in.
We have to remember that. That as Christians, is us all the time.
You never know who's watching you, who's looking at you. They know you're a Christian. How do you handle somebody hurting you, somebody wronging you, somebody who's different than you? What do you meet them with? Is it love or is it judgment?
Like, we have to be that light. And again, like, more so for our littles, maybe not more so. It's just that they highlight that they spotlight the need for us to be aware of what. What we're doing, what we're saying, how we're acting, our actions.
[00:37:16] Speaker A: And those little girls, they're the next generation.
[00:37:18] Speaker B: Yeah, that's.
[00:37:19] Speaker A: That's heavy weight right there. Like, you said this. It's a huge deal. Those are going to be the adults of the world in not Too long.
[00:37:26] Speaker B: I read something the other day that just gave me goosebumps. And of course I'm not going to remember it verbatim or like speak it eloquently, but it said something along the lines of this mom, which I. I have shared this sentiment in the past, even back when I had Chevy, right, that I was scared to bring a into this world. It's a scary world. It's a common recurrent theme and the like. The message of this and the reassurance back to this mom was never be sorry for raising a dragon slayer in a time where dragons actually exist. And it just gave me goosebumps because I'm like, oh my gosh, who am I that God called me to raise children to fight actual dragons? Because this world we live in, it's like nothing ever before.
Hate is rampant, division is rampant. Everything and we know who wins.
[00:38:21] Speaker A: Everything is so polarized right now.
[00:38:24] Speaker B: So polarized, so black and white, so much division. That's just my word of this podcast, I guess. Just division.
And we're. Yeah, we're raising up the next generation to fight that. And it is imperative that we teach them how to do that the right way. Which is love. It's a one word answer, that handbook for life. It is love. It all comes down to that.
And true love is through Jesus. That is the only pure love.
[00:38:51] Speaker A: It's the answer. He is the answer.
If you're ever looking for the answer, there you have it, right?
Just like a little like study tidbit that I thought was kind of like fun to add in just before we move on.
Throughout history, people have always, or people not always, but put their identity in and like I went back to pretty much as far as I could.
Their tribes and their family lines. Kings, power, nation, false gods and idols, Roman citizens and Caesar, Military honor and victory. Human knowledge and philosophy. Religious rituals instead of Christ. Social class and status. Wealth, art and achievement. Church approval instead of God's grace. Nationalism and politics, race, class, ideology, sexuality, gender, success or image.
It's not, it's not a new thing. It's just we have more instant access and it's more in our face. This has been since humans were humaning, right? It's. People will always find something to put their identity in and we are equipped and we have the knowledge to fight against it and we just really need to be aware. I just want to drive that fact home before we move on from this topic. But it's just so, so important that we don't fall into those traps. That's what they are. They're. They're traps from the enemy.
[00:40:13] Speaker B: They are.
[00:40:15] Speaker A: It's the only way to put it. So. But yeah, I love that topic. I spent a lot of time last night. I mean, you just nailed it with everything you said, but I spent a lot of time last night on that topic and it was a tough one because, yeah, everything's so polarized right now. And that's just, you know, it's something people don't want to hear is that their, their identity is in Christ. Because if you're not willing to accept it right now, that's going to feel like you want to fight it.
[00:40:46] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:40:47] Speaker A: So I think you just worded it beautifully. I knew you would swing in it.
[00:40:52] Speaker B: Trust in the Lord to give me the right words today, which I knew he would. Yeah, you know, we. He did really prepared for today.
[00:40:59] Speaker A: Had goosebumps the whole time.
[00:41:00] Speaker B: Except for to that this has been really on my heart. I know when we were like, what should we talk about? It was like identity. And I was instantly like, are we sure? Because I didn't even think about it. Like, I was just like, I really feel like in. In this cancel culture with identity being such.
Such a hot topic. Right.
[00:41:20] Speaker A: The hottest of hot topics.
[00:41:22] Speaker B: It is like the common denominator of division.
There it is again. Division. I mean like, truly though, like.
[00:41:31] Speaker A: But we are literally at the point in society where you sit down and somebody says, what is your identity? Tell me what your identity is right now. I don't even know you. I just shook your hand. What's your identity?
[00:41:41] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:41:42] Speaker A: And you know what? I hope everybody watching this podcast gets to the point where they say, my identity is Christ. Nice to meet you.
[00:41:47] Speaker B: Yeah, I am a Christian. Yep, we had this.
He's actually the pastor for the Boise State football team, Mark Thorin. He's amazing. I love him so much. And he used to say, oh my gosh, I can't believe how many times I heard him say this. But he would reference this. I think he was like a nine year old boy who had gone up and I don't know if he was like sharing his testimony or something, but this little boy had gone up in front of them and them being, I guess the congregation. I really don't know. Hearsay. I wasn't there. But he would talk about this boy all the time that he went up and he was like, hey, I'm a Christian. Cleverly disguised as a nine year old boy.
And he was just again, with that like confidence and faith that only a child can truly Muster without, like, all the corruption and limitations of the world, right? And sin, that he just identified as that and was like, I'm cleverly disguised. And Mark. Pastor Mark would bring this up all the time because he's like, that's how we. We should all be like that. Like, I'm Vanessa. I'm a Christian. Cleverly disguised as all these other labels that I constantly identify myself in and take pride in, right? Like, I. I'm proud to be a nurse. I'm proud to be a mom. I'm proud to be a wife. I'm proud to have this podcast. I'm proud to drag race cars. I'm proud to. Whatever it is. Like, that's pseudo confidence.
I remember my first time. Really, like, seeing that clearly was my, like, just starting to walk back to God, right? And I have my cool Camaro, and I feel so cool when I'm driving my Camaro, right? Like, I'm, like, ripping around town and, like, doing burnouts and, like, just thinking, I'm so cool, right? And then I'd get out of my car and go, like, into church or into the grocery store or out to a public gathering, whatever it was, right? I'd go out into the world. I'd go into a group, into a space, and I'd suddenly be like, oh, I want them all to know I have a Camaro.
Because right now, that's the only thing I liked about myself. Oh, wow. That's the only part of my identity that I found cool, that I found lovable, that I found worthy of people's acceptance was this inanimate object of metal and rubber.
And I remember so, so quickly after that. Or that was. Right? That was during the pruning, and it was, like, 100 prunes ago. Like, I need prune today. I'm overdue for a pruning. Like, it is a lifelong thing, but I remember having that clarity and just, like, surrendering to God and just falling apart and being like, I need you. Because there's got to be more to me than that.
So for anybody listening, there's more. There's endlessly more. There's a depth, there's a purpose that we won't reveal that God wants to reveal and utilize in everyone.
[00:44:46] Speaker A: I just want to say, when I met you, having a Camaro is one of the last things I learned about you. I didn't know until I pulled up to your house and I said, oh, look, there's a Camaro. She didn't even mention it to me.
[00:44:55] Speaker B: Yeah. So that shows the transformation Right. That now it's like, oh, like you have this. What, you do this? And it's like, yeah, that's a, you know, fun little hobby thing. Whatever. This, that, blah, blah. A talking point. They're talking points is all they are. Like, oh, hey, I saw you do this.
Guess what? You know, and it's so far separated. I almost knocked over my drink there.
It's so far separated from my identity now because I'm still figuring it out. Right. I'm still learning, I'm still growing. I'm still speaking God's truths into my life so that I can fully believe them because my human broken, traumatized brain is slow to catch up sometime. I'm so far beyond who I was to need to take stock in anything inanimate like that or in, you know, I was codependent in relationships for so long, like my identity, my self worth, my mood for the day would depend on how my partner at that time, how. How he was viewing me, which when you're with a narcissist or in a, you know, toxic relationship, that's. It's not very good.
[00:46:01] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:46:02] Speaker B: You don't feel.
[00:46:02] Speaker A: Depending on the moment.
[00:46:03] Speaker B: Yeah. You don't feel good about yourself a whole lot. So that's. That's just a fraction of what God has for us. That clarity, that purpose, that love, that light that he fills us up with, and we have no need anymore.
[00:46:16] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:46:17] Speaker B: For anything else.
[00:46:18] Speaker A: Yeah. You're. You'll get to the point where literally your couple overflow. Yeah. I love when people say that.
[00:46:23] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:46:23] Speaker A: That's such a good.
It just will. It will just overflow.
[00:46:27] Speaker B: That's all I could think when you were like, my. My income doubled. Not in a way to be like.
Like I'm bougie now, wearing Gucci next week. No, it's because it's like, this is proof of God's goodness. This is what a leap of faith does. It's stressing about finances, stressing about all these different variables to your cup over.
[00:46:48] Speaker A: You know what this means to me too.
One company thinks you're not worth 3%. God thinks you're worth double.
[00:46:54] Speaker B: Amen.
Amen.
[00:46:57] Speaker A: I'm going with what God thinks of me.
[00:46:59] Speaker B: Amen.
And as you should. And that's. That's what God wants for us. It doesn't matter what your specialty is, what your little niche is. The market is never too saturated. If God has a calling on your life, if your identity in God involves a purpose that he has put on your heart, it doesn't matter how slim the chances, look, you will make it. There will be a way, because God is that way.
[00:47:27] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:47:27] Speaker B: Way maker, waymaker, miracle worker.
[00:47:31] Speaker A: We just start singing one little tidbit I put down. Part of your new identity in Christ is leading others to Christ through the truth that you know this is part of your mission with your new identity. Lead your family in faith, share knowledge, share the good news of what you know.
That's just important, is not just to, like, be like, oh, my cup's running over and I'm so fulfilled and I feel good. But like, like with the homeless man at the dinner, sharing that with people. Right. Not just safe harboring it. That's great. You feel good, all those things, but really to see it blossom and to see, you know, the branches bloom, as we'll say, that's what you need to do. And so. And it starts at home. I just want, like. And I know we touched on that with, like, little Chevy and Octavia and stuff, but it starts at home.
And if you're a Christian watching this already, that is literally your mission.
Work, school, home, all those things. You don't have to shove it down people's throat. But when you people should know, I think, you know, that should be when they think of you, they think, wow, I want what she has. She has a glow about her. She has, like you said, be the salt and light of the earth. They have something, and I'm curious about it, and I want to have my cup overflow, too.
[00:48:54] Speaker B: Amen.
[00:48:55] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:48:55] Speaker B: You can just say, yeah, let me show you the way.
[00:48:57] Speaker A: When you walk in a room, have Christ just radiate off of you so good. That's the goal for me.
[00:49:02] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:49:02] Speaker A: Like, I'm not there yet, but I mean, it's. I'm working that way.
[00:49:08] Speaker B: You are, though.
[00:49:09] Speaker A: You are. And it'll happen.
[00:49:10] Speaker B: You're already. You're saved, you're chosen, you're worthy. You already are. You're already a shining, shining light. And you should know that. That people are drawn to you. Even just the outreach we've gotten from our podcast. Right. Like the testimonies people have shared with us, the little pieces of different episodes that have resonated and spoken light into dark situations. Your testimony that you shared was so powerful, and I just love you for that. And you, you are everything that God as you are.
[00:49:42] Speaker A: Thank you. Yeah, I'm learning to believe it. Just like, hopefully our viewers are, too.
[00:49:47] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:49:48] Speaker A: It's a journey.
